the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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