She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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