OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I fill condoms, not promises.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
