i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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