ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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