My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize