I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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