My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
