didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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