maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you traded sex for a burrito?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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