Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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