I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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