I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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