He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
