either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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