Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
