Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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