i don't plan on having that self control this summer
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
