Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
