This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
