Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
