Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Drunk is not a location!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
