bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
