Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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