GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I wish you could order shots online.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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