Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
