Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
