I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
