i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize