It's like God shit irony all over that family
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
