K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
