he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
