And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
