walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
