Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
