You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
