So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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