I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Say something about gay babies.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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