Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
