I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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