I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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