hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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