...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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