Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
