We got so high we made milksteak
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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