so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
