there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
