i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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