So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
