It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
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