i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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