i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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