Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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