I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
