yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I can't turn off my feet"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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