nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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