I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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