Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
