So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize