You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
