wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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