Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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