my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
