I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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