he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
