I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
