FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
