I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
