i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
