did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize