If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
