he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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