I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
