yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize