Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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