I love black thongs
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
